a defintive ranking of all the tv shows i watched when i was homeschooled
tier lists, dear lists, mere lists
It’s become in vogue to refer to any and all information about yourself as “lore.” That celebrity you once saw at a cafe, a quirky childhood hobby - even something as innocuous as the name of your sibling - can be lore.
The fast and dirty version of the lore I’ve milked for party-convo fodder and pithy personal statements is that, from the ages of 11 to 15, I homeschooled myself. And by “homeschool myself,” I mean I watched an egregious amount of tv for three years straight. I could go into the saccharine details - what American pop culture meant for an angsty tweenager displaced back to Korea, but the purpose of this post is clearly posted above.
It’s a tier-list y’all.
Note: I actually wrote this back in 2022, so the tone is a liiiiittle outdated. Cheugy, dare I say.
Tier 6: I didn’t even enjoy it then
Samantha Who. Talk about the Mandela effect because I definitely thought this was one of those sitcoms that got canceled after one season (Samantha Who humbly made it to two). I think I only watched it because my brother torrented it on the family computer before I learned how to do it myself.
I Hate My Teenage Daughter. Now for a FOX sitcom that actually was canceled after a single season. Jamie Presley and Katie Finneran play childhood best friends who are afraid of their mean-girl teenage daughters in this now-defunct comedy series. The plot’s about as banal as the title: Antics ensue, conflicts resolved. Roll credits!
Awkward. I saw a gif of Matty (played by a guy whose name literally means hot!) on Tumblr which inspired me to torrent every season of this show. As is the case on many of the shows on this list, I purely watched it because it was set in a school environment.
Suburgatory. High school. Canceled. Forgotten by everyone. Next.
Supernatural. I’m now going to say a word that will either sound like absolute gobbledygook or whip you back to childhood Ratatouille style. Ready? Ok.
Superwholock.
For anyone who didn’t just get their fight-or-flight response triggered, Superwholock is a portmanteau of Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock; a super-fandom consisting of Tumblr’s three most popular shows circa 2012. I was naturally drawn to the latter two shows and had to push myself through Supernatural. I really wanted to claim the Superwholock badge of honor and made it through two seasons before I gave up. The Supernatural fandom’s greatest hits include the mishapocalypse, hilarious Twitter beef, and the fastest bury-your-gay in TV history so I’d be amiss to say I didn’t wish I made it all the way through.
Tier 5: It’s Bad Looking Back!
Sherlock. What do you get when you combine anglophilia and adolescent pseudo-intellectualism? A weird attachment to a TV show and the worst Soundcloud username of all time.
Years after my Sherlock phase, I watched a video essay titled “Sherlock is Garbage and Here’s Why,” a two-hour-long takedown of Moffat’s heap of over-stylized garbage. The scales subsequently fell from my eyes and I haven’t looked back since.
Gossip Girl. My feelings about this show can be best summed up by this OC meme.
Though let’s not forget the show gave us this acapella cover of Fergie’s Glamorous.
Blue Mountain State. I definitely remember watching this show but it was just … a lot of sex? I think I realized you can just watch porn instead so I did that instead. Man, being 13 was crazy.
Friends. Friends was the first non-Disney sitcom I ever watched so any joke that didn’t have that “well that just happened” sensibility felt like a sweet, sweet release. My tastes have since progressed to the finer things, so I look back on Friends with nostalgic appreciation and not much else.
Glee Oh 2011. We just let Ryan Murphy do the most insane things in the name of … representation? I simply don’t have the time or energy to dissect every insane thing that’s happened on Glee, so I’ll refer to you this video instead. For all its faults, their cover of Grouplove’s “Tongue Tied” never fails to give me goosebumps… they finally won nationals, guys! 🥺
Skins (US) — There’s an old saying in the TV industry: if it did well abroad, I want a season of it on NBC! Stat! It’s a tale as old as time: execs see an international show perform well and then say hey let’s make a US version. It’s a fail-proof formula. Except when it isn’t — again and again. The only exception is Ugly Betty (but more on that later). Skins (US) adapted the original almost scene for scene and still fell extremely flat.
Tier 4: It’s Alright.
Scrubs. Scrubs was always best in its heartfelt moments. Can you believe no other medical show had thought to use The Fray’s “How to Save a Life?” before? As a comedy series, on the other hand, it was pretty stale: J.D is a man-child! Eliot’s uptight! Dr. Cox mean… but maybe, good too? Boom, there’s 8 seasons — plus the weird spinoff — for you.
Batman: The Animated Series. I know the IMDb top 250 is just one giant film-bro circlejerk but that list was like the gospel when I was developing ~taste~. Once I ran out of things to watch, I used it to guide me to my next show, Batman: The Animated Series. The show has a 9 on IMDb which, even after watching, I still don’t really understand.
How I Met Your Mother. Thank God for this show because what would college dude-bros in 2011 have done without its “legend-wait-for-it-dary” neologisms and catchphrases. My theory on the show’s popularity is that it wasn’t actually that funny but it produced just enough frat-party conversation fodder to sustain itself in the zeitgeist.
Doctor Who. The final piece of the Superwholock trifecta; a mainstay of British television and the subject of over 70,000 fanfic works. Hormones can make you do crazy things like, say, watch six seasons of a kitschy sci-fi series because British guy hot. I wouldn’t watch the show now but I give the production kudos for being on-air longer than my dad has been alive.
Tier 3: Good But Would Not Watch Again
The League. I don’t care how many Golden Globes, Emmys, or Spirit Independent Awards they win, Duplass, Mantzoukas, and Kroll will always be “the guy from the League.”
New Girl. New Girl emerged towards the tail-end of the 2008 recession and made it okay to be 30 and living with roommates — in fact, it was even kind of cool. Financially ruined millennials could enjoy adultolescence shame-free thanks to Zoey Deschanel and her brood of “men-written-by-women.”
Modern Family. Modern Family is one of those shows that work better as a sequence of Youtube clips you watch while eating. This 3-minute clip has gotten a fast-eater like me through some pretty delicious meals.
The Office. The Office is an objectively funny show that unfortunately got the “Rick and Morty” treatment; an annoying fanbase became synonymous with the show itself, overshadowing any of the show’s legitimate merits. Unlike the rabid fans of R&M, The Office fell on the wrong side of pop culture for being boring — or at least their fans were. Liking the Office became cheugy and the show became memed into oblivion. Now we only ever dare to wear our “Michael Scott Paper Company” shirts in the safety of our own homes.
Tier 2: Would Watch Again.
Skins (UK). And I have. Over and over and over again.
Happy Endings. Like Friends, but funnier! A comparison even the show has made.
Flight of the Concords. Before Taika Waiti’s brand of wry New Zealand comedy wooed the world, there was Flight of the Concords. I don’t know what my brother was thinking when he showed my elementary school self a clip of “Albi the Racist Dragon,” but I’m eternally grateful he did.
Pushing Daisies. A crime procedural set in a fairytale world. Who knew murder could be so twee?
Tier 1: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it.
Community. This show is perfect. I think about it daily. #sixseasonsandamovie
Arrested Development. This show is also perfect. I also think about it daily. #SaveOurBluths.
30 Rock. A writer at The Atlantic once calculated 30 Rock clocks in an average of 7.44 jokes a minute, which, by those calculations, makes me way smarter than you for enjoying the show. But you have fun watching Schitt’s Creek, you.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This show’s got everything: Blackface, Rumham, and even a surprisingly touching coming-out episode. The show persisted through the peak of the culture wars (relatively unscathed) and its subversive early-aughts humor has settled comfortably in our edgy brave new world.
Ugly Betty. I watched this show all the way through about 3 times. And because you made it to the very end of the tier list, here’s why.